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Mr Owen's Magic Soccerballs

Lo again. Blog appears more royal blue, not my doings, but I likes.

I am back in the country, my phone is broke till Monday when I call o2 and shout at them and they fix it. It's a long story, involving my not having paid a bill because I didn't realise I had no overdraft and being out of the country. It also has to do with o2 having terrible customer service. I pay my bill and wait a day, then I have to send them an email, now they tell me I have to contact some other department and sort it out with them, it's all much gayness. I think I'm going to Orange or some such when my contract runs out.

I have no internet at uni for another week at least, this hurts. I'm writing this at home, I'm here for the night to pick up some stuff and then I'm going back tomorrow, when I will most likely end up at a house party being bitter at ska punk/metal. Why do people listen to that stuff? It's not Madlib, is it? Speaking of music, I've not been listening to anything too much recently, the new Kanye West is presently on, which is plenty good. ipod listening on the way home was Solomon Burke's album Don't Give Up on Me which has lots of good soul written specially for the man by people like Dylan and Waits. I've listened to it occasionally since it came out about three years ago, and it's plenty good stuff. The vibe in the new house kitchen, from what I remember of the pile of CDs there is pretty mixed. Dylan, Stevie Wonder and Dickie Ashcroft have all had a look in.

No internet and no phone means I'm pretty much cut off from everything which is pretty shite, need to sort it out soon. Also guess after I get internet will start going to more gigs and stuff in London town. I'm well happy because I have a station that takes me to London only ten minutes walk away (compared to 20 last year). It feels like half of my friends have failed, and all them crazy cats that I saw in the library every time I went there are still with us. It's pretty mental, but I guess this year I gots to work a little bit.

Back to Malaysia. Elephants have fucking big knobs. Elephants having sex is most likely one of the most twisted things I've ever seen. I have no pictures, but I'm not sure you'd want to see pictures of that. In fact, I have no pictures of holiday here, they're all on laptop at uni. Besides, people that show you holiday pictures are just twisted. Malaysian airlines can do veggie food, Austrian can't. I flew back on them and I got boiled veg for breakfast and for dinner. Mongs. That country is all a bit foreign. Austrian toilets have a shelf so you can stare at your turds before you flush them away. Imagine someone didn't flush, you'd just walk in and see a big pile of someone elses shit. It's twisted. I've just realised I've said this in the earlier post, but fuck it, this stuff is important. In Malaysia half the toilets are 'Asian Style'. This means they're just holes in the floor. When I got to the airport and opened the door of the first toilet cubicle this scared the shit out of me. Still, I managed to find facilities that were suitable for my needs most of the time (the times I didn't were fucking terrible). I am now forever going to be grateful for normal toilets and loo rail.

I'm addicted to kway teow (Thick chinese noodles fried hard(I love the phrase 'fried hard' I heard it on a Wyclef Jean album that I listened to over and over when I was about 12/13 to after my cousin gave it to me on tape. I need that album actually, think I taped over it taping stuff of the radio, but that's mad old school action), I can't get it in this country. I crave that and south indian food, but it's all crazy expensive here. Also, my closest supermarket is Sainsburys, which is dirty expensive. I needs internet so I do Tesco shop online because it's about an hour to walk and the bus seems to go every half an hour. For now I'll buy dirty expensive bread and fill in my HMV application form. I talked to the guy for a while about MF Doom, so he better give me a job.

Malaysia was great. I saw some shit, learned some shit and all that stuff travelling randomly through far away countries is meant to teach you happened to me I guess. Details will follow perhaps. Rickshaws playing reggaeton, mountains with crazy views and clouds rolling down the sides, mental drivers and everything being dirt cheap. It was the shit, hopefully I'll go there again soon. Reading some Roald Dahl short stories kindly supplied by Surrey County Council, I reccomend the book Switch Bitch, which I've vaguely been reading. Need some meaty novels, oxfam will sort me out with them soonest I guess.

Anyways, enjoy going back to school and whatever.

la?

In Kuala Lumpur it is hot, unless you are in an air conditioned enviroment, which I am. I'm behind the desk of an accountant, using her laptop to type this and listening to some twins make jokes and giggle in mandarin. Outside, it's smoggy as, because in some neigbouring country they're burning everything.

It's about half five here, and I feel hungry, tired, and mostly just odd. Having a two hour flight sitting next to an cockney Albanian, then sitting (yu can change sitting for shitting if you prefer, but either works well) in an Austrian airport which had shelves in the loos so you could see your shit before you flush and then changing onto another flight for eleven hours. Eleven hours. That hurts. You start to smell. You start conversations with Croatians going to Melbourne about football and cricket, parts of you ache, your mind goes numb, you watch the last te nminutes of some Orlando Bloom film and XXX2 about five times, once properly with sound, and the other times catching odd bits without any sound. You eat food which is actually quite nice (tortellini with pesto and a bit of tomato with roasted vegetable salad for lunch ; cheese omlette and wierd potato cake thing with random veg for breakfast.) You wander aimlessly and get addicted to the display saying how far you've gone. I want teleportation, it doesn't hurt.

That's it so far. Malaysian seems to be a really odd language, half the time they just bastardise English - Bus is spelt Bas, Ambulance = Ambulans and School becomes something along the lines of Schola. Anyways, off now, hopefully will make another post soon. Peace out scene kids.

Vitriolic Bullshit.

Hi kids.

I believe this is my first post since before Uni began. By gum if that wasn't nearly a year ago.
If anyone cares I passed easily.

Uni has changed everything. You live by yourself. Look after yourself. And have a fucking great time in the process.

Anyway, still not met up with you Saki and Vij. I know that's only because we are all lazy as fuck.

I'm basically going to ape (yes Vij, I said ape) Saki's form of posting. And so we start with;

Revision, we'll skip this bit as I don't do any of that bollocks.
Books, currently reading Donna Tartt's The Secret History. I know it's good. But it's boring me to tears. I will finish it though. I have three brand new books to read as well. Books I just bought on the spur of the moment. I no longer have access to a library as I don't know where the card is. Nor can I be fucked to register for a new one as I believe it'd be very hard to prove where I lived nowdays! New Donna Tartt book is awaiting, not sure why I bought it. Maybe I'm trying to read more normal books. Still bought Iain M. Banks' new book The Algebraist. He has to be one of the most talented writers of his generation. And some other book which escapes me right now.

Previously read the book that I would have written had it not already been done. Or had I the talent or work ethic. Dan Simmons' Olympos, the sequel to Ilium. Both SF books but with the Iliad and The Tempest in them amongst others. I've known ol' Bill Shakespeare was a genius but it took a book like this to really put it into perspective. It's created vast swathes of tract which have been added to my reading list and that I would read if I wore a beret and smoked rollies. Authors such as Proust, who I know I will not have time for unless it becomes part of my course and is prescribed reading, or if it helps me in anyway. Philosophy is a giant reading subject. You can never read enough, so I read the minimum.

Musicality. Bah. There. That's yours done and got over with Saki. Coldplay, yes I like them. Yes, their new album is good. Probably not as good as A Rush Of Blood To The Head. But then, not many things are better than that, are they? I don't think you can deny that. Fix You and A Message are immense songs. Right, also, I appear to have turned into a little indie kid. Well, not really the typical indie kid, but an indie kid nonetheless. The Rakes, The Cribs, The Kills. In fact any band with The infront of it seem to be good at the moment. Current favourites include random bands like the Editors, and the best named band in the world, !!!.

I know the Editors are just a lesser version of Interpol, who have two fantastic albums, but they are good nonetheless. !!!, pronounced chk chk chk, Bang Bang Bang! I beliebe, are good. New Ep is very good, and there is a remix about which is fantastic but I cannot find it. I am into most dancey music I guess. Indie that you can dance to is ace. You can see me dancing (glowsticks and all) when on holiday in Tenerife to Judge Jules, who I dragged Mike, Law, and Alex along to, here. I enjoyed it anyway.

Films. Saki has not drawn attention to this media form. But I feel that I must. I recently watched two films which I believe are required viewing. Garden State and Crash. Garden State is written, directed, and stars that bloke from Scrubs. He is a brilliant actor and he picked the soundtrack himself. Frou Frou - Let it go and the cover of Postal Service's Such Great Heights are personal favourites. Crash deals with racism and is beautifully interwoven. It has Ryan Phillipe in who is an unbelievable dickhead. But it's still fantastic.

Oh, and I've read Cloud Atlas and wasn't all that impressed. Ooh well done. You're all linked by a birthmark, and some other bit of information. Have a prize. No wait. Don't. Just be nominated for one. It seems far too tenous for me.

My house next year does not have a breakfast bar. I think my room has a sofa in it though. It's a shit house though really. But then again. I'm probably not paying anywhere near as much as you Saki dear. Vij you'll probably be paying less. Because you live in Aberystwyth land of monkeys and Welsh astronauts. And locals gurning at the sun (I had to).


This has been a tired Jamie production in which he has struggled not to fall asleep on the keyboard and refrained from entering an online poker tournament (this one was £6 which is over my limit of £2 entry as I am still only just learning, the draw of this tournament was the $4000 guaranteed prize money which would be nice.) My mind will not stretch to great sentences and I know there are mis-placed commas and no other punctuation to make the prose (if it dared be called that) seem nicer and lighter and airier and more complete. But that will do for today. That will do.

Perfect Russian, an accent dusty with central Asia.

Revising right now, for all the fun of retakes, but whilst taking a short break I thought I'd just write a paragraph or two. This post will be full of linky action, but don't expect anything other than more words to read when you get to those links. Just finished a book called Ghostwritten today, the Q book is large and difficult to digest, and reading it all by itself would be like trying to eat a whole pig so I was reading this to take a break from reading the other book. Now it's finished, I think I have to read Q more often, but still find another book to read at the same time. Ghostwritten is by a guy called David Mitchell, who lived (not sure if he still did) in Horoshima, and all of his books have a strong South East Asian theme. Right now he's most likely my favourite author, most likely because he writes good stories. Some writers do amazing characters, but I really prefer narratives. He's also been shortlisted for the man booker prize for his last two books, and loads of other prizes generally. I've read all three of his books, and if you want and you're reasonably easy to lend books to, I'll lend you either his second or third books, the first has to go back to library soon. Here's his amazon page thingy, if you really feel like my reccomendations are worth it, and you don't want me to lend you it, buy cloud atlas. It's £4.30, you could get a huge meal from burger king for that much.

I think now you need a list of my top three authors right now.
1. David Mitchell
2. Patrick Neate
3. George Orwell
This changes a fair bit, depending on what I've read recently, so you're pretty safe in assuming I've been reading those three in the past few weeks.

Read this and think about it, it's a good analysis of live8, and one for the most part I agree with. Not much more to say here.

Right now, my genre of choice is definitely hiphop. I would say rap, but I've been listening to a lot of instrumental stuff as well. People I'm loving right now are MF Doom and Sage Francis, go here to download some stuff. MF Doom is presently working with Dangermouse (he of the grey album and co-producer of the Gorillaz last) to make an album called DangerDoom. That goes here. MF doom previously worked with a producer called madlib on an album called Madvilliany under the name Madvillian (you see what they keep doing? There was also a Jaylib album which was madlib with another rapper) Madlib remixed the The Bees - Chicken payback, which due to my magic sourcing, is a available for you right... here.

That's all for now, enjoy the links and downloads and things. They're all good stuff. And seriously, if you want to borrow them books, just ask.

Bus Stop Biddies

I think I'll do this intro thing I've seen people do on deviantart do. It tells you what the person's doing and listening to and things. It may well become commonplace, if you can call the frequency of my updates common.

Mood: Nothing too strong, just general vagueness
Listening to: Fernanda Porto - Valarejo Intimo
Reading: Luther Blissett - Q
Watching: Capturing the Friedmans

That actually seems a bit teenagerish. I'm 19, can't be doing such things. This isn't a livejournal or somesuch yet. When the time comes for me to make something that poorly designed and featuring that many characters that don't actually form words, just smileys and odd strings of letters then maybe I'll do that above thing again. I think you should make effort, and extract information from my great body of text, and in return I might even illuminate the things I'm presently busying myself with in greater detail.

Life is.. about a 6 or a 7 out of ten. I've passed the year, despite revising it all in a week. Problem is I'm being forced to do a retake of the one exam I failed in three weeks. All the older years I talked to were able to do in March of the next year, so I want to kill the man Gayjo, or Rob Jago. He's one fat and evil mother who plagues me terribly with his stupid smock style attire and his constant wheezing. He's only following orders I guess, but if that wasn't an excuse for concentration camp guards, it's not for him. He used capitals in his email to me. Capitals! Is there any reason for that, any need to take such drastic measures. If it wasn't for his great and worrying mass, I'd hate him even more, but because he's so huge, I can't help but find him funny, like some big great gay fat clown man. Even if he does suck goats.

I'm looking forward to the Addison Road (My house next year). My room is huge. really really huge, you could fit jago in there and you wouldn't feel uncomfortable and could easily avoid touching him. It contains a bed, but no ordinary bed, a bed bigger than the ordinary bed. This means that I can quite possibly sleep diagonally, or at any angle I desire. Also, my room contains a sofa. I've never ever owned a sofa before, not one I can call my own. I can recline on it and things. I think a sofa calls for a television, and so some kind of second hand big style thing is going to arrive when I've had enough of putting my sofa in front of the window and looking at the old peoples home/church/wierd unspecified building across the road and trying to figure out what the fuck it is. That house will be ace, because we have a garden. and a shed. AND a breakfast bar. I know many of you have never been able to say you've had a 1/5th share in a breakfast bar. Think of the possibilites, think about waking up after sleeping at an angle of 30 degrees, and then putting on a dressing gown and eating a bagel at the breakfast bar with someone from a whole other part of the world, like south of the river. Think about how far that means you've come in the world. When you reach that point, (and soon I will, and when I do I'll tell you all about it) you're about half way to the pinaccle of human achievement. Imagine the bagel accompanied by orange juice with bits in. Imagine the bagel is last night's pizza. What more is there? I mean there's marriage and kids and things, but still, they just get in the way of the bagel/cold pizza. I don't think you can have cold pizza after you have kids, they'll just eat it all. So, savour your breakfast bars, because you'll be dead soon after.

Next year I also decide to own the town of G-ford (I made that up now, sounds balls, doesn't it?) I'll wander down the high street, looking at the kids gang holding up their sign for the goth shop or whatever it is and laugh at them knowingly. I'll adopt tiny freshers, and feed them to whatever it is lives across the road. I'll grow a few inches taller get big shoes or get leg operations and everyone will be in awe. I'll eat more burgers with eggs in. I'll drink more orange juice. I'll swear at all the ska punk and emo I find even more viciously that I have this year. You might be alright people I guess, but imagine if I make enough conversation with you to like you. I'd rather be rude, it keeps it all safe and at arms length.

We have the olympics. We got bombed. I want to write a paragraph here, but tired and bed calls. Make up your own paragraph. It has to involve the words perspective, malaria, statistically, knee jerk reaction, standards, racism, money. You're free to venture into NASA and space shuttles. All your material can be found at bbc news.

COLOURS

The title has nothing 2 do wiv the post, but anyways, who cares!!Its 6am in he moning, and we ave jst come back from an alcohol fueled night. One of the craziest ever. The night started with us playin drinkin games, which involved a ine class n a choolate bar. The objective of the game was to get the chocolate pieces into the wine glass. If u get the chocolate to hit the wine glass u down half ur drink.If u miss, u down ur whole drink n if u get it in the glass u drink nothing. OBVIOUSLY,most of us missed so we drank loads n mixed our drink (Which u shud neva DO?!).

Anways, on our way out, we got bored so my flatmate started jumpin on this guy's car on the middle floor (we had sme beef with him, he walks round all day in a denim jacket with a wkd bottle;nuff said.)Wen we got back bout 10mins ago there's a massive dent in the car. We all gonna claim insomina or amenia or sme shit 2moro.

Why am i still up???? Well i'm gonna stay up till 9am to get ma results dis morning n den go to da GP.Man it was a crazy nite, went 2 vodbull (vodka redbulls for a £)The things r VILE, n dey keep u up for ages; but who cares. Somehow i ended up in a pizza shop freesytle battle 5 ppl @ once (they live@ da beaches aka the bitches).Anyways, i think i won, even though i said sme silly stuff such as: "How can u b begging me to spit wen u shallow/blud ur lyrics aint deep dey shallow//". Anyyyyyyyyyyyhoooooooooooooo, sme random girl came to me afterward n spoke of her admiration 4 ma freesytlin skills, nt sure i brought ma a game to da table. But ppl still enjoyed it, which is all dat counts, for a millsecond i felt like a STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Man i chattin pure rubbish, i apologise for spoilin the blog, but i gotta keep awake man, only another 3 hours to go. Bet they gonna go slow; birds r singing etc. Anyways we went back to the beaches; met sme random girls from bowlin, tuesday nite. Played pro evo @ 4am aginst da beaches ho i defeat lyricial; won 2 lost 1 due to sunigth ( 2-0;2-3;5-2). Stole an iron from the beaches; called taxi; paid for taxi with the stolen iron LOLOLOLOLO (Dat cracks me up mn). Stumbled into tennis courts (where i live) @ 10 to 6, n stood outside laughin @ the car for what seemed like agesssssssssss.

Anyways, enuff or ma random rantings on, i'm gonna go n drink some water/ coffee (~a hybrid by the name of waffee). I mite watch star wars 5 een only 4, u neva knw, i'm gettin hungry.

Bless u all